In the grand scheme of things it may be a small thing:
Everyone, at some point, reaches that point where they question their worth, their value, in the eyes of others. We look for validation; for a sense we actually mean something to another.
I've lived with the word, "IDIOT" ringing in my ears. In a moment, those I love have hurt me more than any "school-yard bully."
I'm stealing from Maya Angelou [sic]: I know why the caged bird
I may be the reincarnation of Abe Lincoln [born on his birthday & holding on, w/ my humor & Marfan's] I'm wearing his "Death-mask," today. The Civil WAR in our HOUSE is nearing its breaking point.
I want to get off the train.
This "idiot" has reached the end of the line.
I've reached that point in Time.
The voice says: "You're not of value."
"You're an idiot" (useless)
I've taken in the sickness of my father....
...I'm throwing up.
He faces me towards the mirror...Idiot, Idiot, Idiot, Idiot, Idiot.
I jump & run for the hills....
No longer useless; although, GONE.