January 14, 2009

I've Reached That point:

In the grand scheme of things it may be a small thing:

Everyone, at some point, reaches that point where they question their worth, their value, in the eyes of others. We look for validation; for a sense we actually mean something to another.

I've lived with the word, "IDIOT" ringing in my ears. In a moment, those I love have hurt me more than any "school-yard bully."

I'm stealing from Maya Angelou [sic]: I know why the caged bird
sings.

I may be the reincarnation of Abe Lincoln [born on his birthday & holding on, w/ my humor & Marfan's] I'm wearing his "Death-mask," today. The Civil WAR in our HOUSE is nearing its breaking point.

I want to get off the train.

This "idiot" has reached the end of the line.

I've reached that point in Time.

The voice says: "You're not of value."

"You're an idiot" (useless)

I've taken in the sickness of my father....

...I'm throwing up.

He faces me towards the mirror...Idiot, Idiot, Idiot, Idiot, Idiot.

**
I jump & run for the hills....

**

No longer useless; although, GONE.

~x~adam.



3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Adam, there was always trouble in Eden; that's why human beings have to live with each other's imperfections now. In fact, it is those imperfections which drive our creativity, we are always trying to put things right; and, doing that, has made us co-creators, rather than just creatures. If your woman lashes you with her tongue, threaten to lash her with a cane.

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